So we went to KL and stayed at J W Marriot hotel. 5-star hotel. Superb services and what-not. Even has complimentary internet connection. Nice. Nothing much during the 2 days there, apart from just visiting shopping centres as well as going to the indoor theme park that I have went before. Didn't do much shopping though because most of the stuff were quite expensive. I did notice one thing though. There were quite a lot of middle-easterners there. Seriously...

Then after 2 days in KL, we went to Port Dickson at The Water Legends. Did more things there. Basically, time at the beach, kiting, swimming and even a session of karaoke. My family has never done the last item ever together before, so that was really a nice one. My father seemed to be the most happy because there were a lot of songs on the song list that he knew and he was singing them rather happily. At the end of the session, our family did learn one thing. None of us are singers. Haha...

And then on way back to Singapore, we dropped by at Melaka for lunch and did some shopping. Bought lots of stuff. And even something for Siti! Hahaha.. Had dinner at JB and my parents did some grocery shopping there. Cheap cheap cheap. :D And then back to Singapore it is...

The night went on as per normal. It's always different. Prom Night from the perspective of the participant and the organiser. Or in fact any other organised event for that matter. The participant merely grasps as the surface of an entire machinery that's working behind-the-scenes. Caring for his own needs and making sure they're met is all that matters. Whereas the organiser has to look at every single nitty-gritty detail.

I have a feeling I should continue ranting on and on and on. But I suddenly lost the mood to do so. A few more parting words here should suffice. It's been nice to see the CSS teachers once again. They're the ones that have made the biggest impact in my life. A lifetime of thanks would not be enough...

Nonetheless, without all the above-mentioned elements, these runs somehow lets me drift back into the past that I've always grown to love over the past few years. The fitness that I had in those secondary school times were amazing, way beyond my best even while I was in the army. My self-discipline added upon that from my coaches gave me a strong mental mindset that has guided me through my schooling years and hence accorded me the credentials that I so deserve today. The friends that were there with me for the morning runs are still friends up till these day. But alas, as bad things never last, so do good things must to an end.

Even then, I did my own runs on weekends. The runs at MacRitchie or NTU field or even back to a vacated CSS. It was liberating in some sense. All thoughts of daily life just came to a halt and the mind is focused on getting through the pain felt in the legs due to the lactic acid builtup and that of the lungs pushing itself to its maximum capacity. Concentration is placed on achieving record timings and reaching the finishing earlier than previously, while all thoughts of studying and other needs are put on hold. A run is no longer just a run. It becomes something that is worth cherishing and reliving in the upcoming years all over again.

And then there's going to be soccer this Saturday at the usual court. As if I will EVER EVER miss those days. Days of freak goals and tucked-out uniforms are definitely unforgettable. Living a carefree life and going there after school gave life a meaning during the lower secondary school days. As if homework was so important then. Hah. Even in Sec 3 and 4, the few of us would still go there and just play around, kick around, attempt to salvage what fitness we had left after O levels drained us from much of it by taking away our time.

It's unfortunate, really. Life is Singapore as a student is dependent too much on grades. One can never succeed on sports alone, or on any other CCA. The mindset of the teachers and more importantly, the parents, are too rigid - that the paper chase is too valuable to be given up for other hobbies. As if some of us just want them to remain as hobbies. I'd imagine one can still be a successful athlete or grow up to be the national coach of some sport or even a full-time musician. But of course, in Singapore's scholastic climate, that is beyond the limits of possibility for the bulk of the population. You'd have to be exceptional to become all those. Above average is not enough. It just puts you with the rest and you get ranked by a number known as your aggregate score instead. How unfortunate.

I wonder. If Singapore could afford not being so study-centric, would most of our lives turn out differently? Will the importance of a university education in itself will diminish? Definitely not. Maybe it will flourish. There can be other meanings to that phrase 'university education'. Perhaps a degree in Music will be more commonplace and not just because one wants to be a music teacher in future. Or even degrees for more sports-related jobs to really make Singapore a sports hub. Sadly, it is the needs of Singapore that needs to be fulfilled, not the childhood dreams of many who would have preferred something else instead of taking Singapore's normal one-way route of education. The needs of the nation is important for everybody. Yours can be put aside and deemed nothing more than childish wishes and hopes.

Blehh... Why does this post have so much melancholy in it? Perhaps it's the feeling that has been resonating from me ever since I took on Hockey in Sec 3. After all, I did have the experience even when I was in NJ. Nothing new at all. It probably exists everywhere. Almost everywhere.

And I think I shall stop here for now. I will have more thoughts on this. That's for sure. But I guess that's for another day for another post. :D

Really appreciated those who made the travel from the West to the East to come see me. Sorry for the trouble, but let me explain. It was because almost everywhere else was fully booked! The Chevrons was fully booked, so was my place's multi-purpose hall. So we had no other alternative. And if any of you are asking why 20 instead of next year's 21, it's because my family thought that there might be a chance next year if I do go to UK to study, which is a very highly likely possibility.

In terms of presents, I wasn't expecting much. But seriously, you people gave A LOT. And it's really really great presents. Although I shan't mention any of them here. But I will remember these in years and years to come. Very thoughtful gifts and even some expensive ones as well. Thanks loads!

All I can say is I hope you all enjoyed the food provided and the cake. While you people only came in the afternoon or evening, we came a day before to recce the area (somewhat like a ground recce) and then came early in the morning to set up the place (somewhat like an advance party). So yeah, if you guys didn't notice, I was abit tired the entire day, especially towards the night. But nonetheless, your presence in itself was a good enough motivation and reward for staying around to entertain all of you.

~~~~~~

Apart from that, the past 2 days was as per normal. By as per normal, I meant driving lessons and tuition. Nothing much from it. But I have pretty satisfied at the rate at which I am picking up skills for driving. Booked my test date on 15th of January and I hope to pass it on the first try. That will be really awesome.

On another note, went to NUH yesterday to visit my uncle who's been suffering for quite a few months already from several cancers, the worst of which that has recently developed is the one in his brain. It's really unfortunate, and even more cold is the fact that it's entirely random because anybody can get it. The few moments that I spent day was shuffled between chatting with him and feeling a deep sense of appreciation for the state of good health that I am currently in at the moment. Hearing about all the injections and radiotherapy that he has been undergoing almost on a daily basis made me quite sick, but it also made emphatise with him and even feel the kind of pain and the need for a brave heart to go through it all. I hope that he can eventually turn out fine. But I guess somehow or another, the days of smoking and drinking will catch up when the time comes. Nonetheless, I wish all the best and a speedy recovery.

Today was spent at Sentosa with the family. Shell's Children Day but I just tagged along anyways. Nothing much really. More for my two younger sisters to enjoy while I took care of the barang barang. I did join in the fun once in a while. But other than that, it was ok lahh...

I don't why, but I feel like there has been a lot going through me these two days. Weird really. I've been thinking and thinking and thinking. Some positive, some negative thoughts. Haiz... Ah what the heck. Don't really have the time for that.

There's going to be a party going on tomorrow at East Coast Park! :D Wow... Seems like even after army, everyday is still filled with something to do. Which is of course good lah! :P

Anyways, this thing that I'm calling the Post-ORD Syndrome cannot be accurately described. It's a sort of feeling, nothing that traumatises the emotional well-being of a person nor does it induce pain of any sort. It might exist in a person without the person even knowing it. Something like HIV/Aids until the person goes for a blood test or develops late stage Karposi Sarcoma. Ok. Shan't digress too far.

This syndrome has somewhat to do with the feelings about time. The patient will feel that time has started to move faster, the days end up shorter, and time disappears even before you know it. It's very much unlike the time in army. A full 24 hours feels like a eternity, and when the weekend comes, it's as if it was a month since the last time he left camp. Outside camp, the cars, the buildings, the girls are all some form of eye-opener, as if something foreign that has never been seen before in a long long time. On the other hand, the patient suffers from the opposite. Because of the ubiquity of such modern surroundings, he grows used to it, like pre-enlistment days and does not experience any of these eye-opening experience. The ability to cherish time outside camp is lost and he whiles the time away only to realise that an entire day has passed so easily.

A better summary would be to suggest that to the patient, everyday seems to be like a book-out day. But evidently, this leaves out the entire 'eye-opening experiencing' ability that the NSF has the capability of feeling. Maybe the better way of saying this is that the patient is starting to take for granted what he as an NSF is capable of feeling only during the weekends and hence his disability to feel the sense of freedom accorded to him.

One very noticeable symptom of the syndrome cannot be verified just by looking at patient, but in fact, has to undergo further analysis. The proper place to check would be the patient's bank account. Just a quick look with confirm that he suffers from the above-mentioned syndrome. Due to a sudden disappearance in the patient's monthly allowance, there is no longer any inflow of money in the account. Because he is still not used to his loss, the outflow is still present and eventually, the remaining amount of cash borders on being near-zero.

These are the known symptoms of the post-ORD syndrome. Due to personal involvement at the experimental stage, I have also been able to come up with some cures for such a diagnosis to prevent aggravation to a worse stage and hence requiring even further psychological treatment. The first possible form of treatment is to start making life meaningful all over again (as if it was ever meaningful in the army in the first place). What I mean to start to reverting back to pre-enlistment days, such as studying for A levels or playing sports for school. So what one can do is start picking up life skills, such as having driving lessons, or give tuition (if one still has the mental capabilities to do so), or find a job to undertake. The roles and responsibilities accorded by picking up these activities will enable the patient to experience this need for freedom by wanting to get away from these activities when they become abit too stressful. The patient can then start appreciating the free time he has all over again (without the need to be in camp at all!). The last suggested activity can also enable the patient to start seeing an inflow of cash into his bank account, which definitely is a true testament to the phrase "killing two birds with one stone".

And that is all that I have for this post-ORD syndrome. Yes.. I am that bored! :P

Ok... On the other hand, I have been doing a lot of things in the past few days, at least after the celebration of my birthday. Completed syncing of my contacts, music and calendar into my iPhone and I'm very proud to have done it in a single day. Yay-ness. Now my iPhone is sorta fully functional and I'm very happy with the way it is. Once again. Yay-ness.

I woke up this morning and also did something that I really hated doing in the army. I went for a morning run. Not the kind of run where your superior barks at you for going to slow. Nor the kind where the superior blows the whistle and you have to sprint as fast as you can without any choice of your own. I went for the kind of run that was at my own pace, which my choice of wanting to go how fast or slow I want and the route that I wanted to take. So much more relaxing and really the true meaning of OTOT-carry-on. With my iPhone plugged in, I enjoyed the music as much as the scenery around me and ran to Bukit Gombak stadium. Did a couple of laps and then ran back home and went to the gym for a while. Hopefully, with the kind of effort that I put in on an almost daily basis, I can go back to the pre-1SIR days where I'm capable of getting a GOLD for my IPPT and a PASS for my SOC with no effort at all. A few months ago, neither of the two was even humanely possible. Maybe weekly soccer sessions can help, if that eventually comes into play.

I've also been having driving lessons. And I think I have improved very much over the past 2 lessons because of this new instructor I have. Apparently, he is like one of the top few instructors of the entire school and I really like his method of teaching. But he can be scary at times and very stressful too. Often likes to con me into changing my gear at traffic junctions and tempting me to change lanes when it is not possible. But nonetheless, I think it is good practice to make me constantly think while I'm driving so that I become more alert and aware of the surrounding and hence can perform better. Apparently, the group that I chose is also the best group of the entire school and hence by that fact itself, I have a much higher rate of passing the driving test the first time. He told me that nobody that the ranking is not supposed to be known to anybody and that's why I make this paragraph as anonymous as possible.

Yup... That's about as much as I want to say. I want to go back to blogging frequently from now onwards. Trying to make it a habit all over again. Army made it impossible to do it daily for obvious reasons. So I'm trying to get it back. After all, writing a little a day didn't really hurt anybody.

So we had lots and lots of time to talk and eat and talk some more. Very funny stuff came out. And we ate the usual main course and then dessert. Of course with the traditional sing song and what not. I must say the waitress that served us was really sporty and even very friendly. Even closed one eye with regards to giving us a particular discount. Haha.. Nice! :D

Then we opened presents and I got my iPhone. Not like I didn't know I was going to get it already. But we took hell lot of photos of us being shocked at the iPhone. Damn funny. As in seriously.. Haha..

I must say. I really enjoyed myself. And also a great thanks to Siti and Hamizan for being able to be there too. And not forgetting the Man Utd T-shirt ehh... Thanks loads! :D

There will be so many things to do. Overseas university education. Making life-changing decisions. Choosing between A and B. Joining the working world in a hope to earn money for a better living. Nonetheless, I will maintain my perspective of life and carry on with the future projection that I've been holding onto for the last 5 years or so.

While the immediate future requires immediate attention such as day-to-day activities or weekly planning, ranging from driving lessons to the eventuality of getting a job, thought must also be made to what I want to be 10, 20 years from here. I must say that I am blessed with this ability to foresight what I want to do and hence become more focus to stay on track. And there is a range of possibilities. University lecturer? Mathematician? Haikal's theorem? Field's medal?

So many unknowns. So many choices. Not all may come true. Maybe one.. Or two. But at least I have a vision to work towards and achieve them, enabling me to mark out significant milestones along the way.

Of course, I have many to thank in making me who I am today. First and foremost (Hoohah!), my parents for nurturing me the way they have been and taking care of my well-being. For allowing me to make mistakes and learn along the way. For being the pillar of support that a child always needs. Next are the teachers that have influenced my life along the way, showed me the value and need of education and perhaps are the ones that have made me chose the path of being an educator myself. And of course, my friends, as well as my enemies, by just being whom they are and showing me what variety of thoughts and opinions there are with regards to any single issue. The good (and bad) memories along the way will be remembered and the learning values will be taken away. Last but not least, thanks must be given to Allah for his amazing creation and to be blessed with the kind of ability to be educated to the extent that it's a gift nobody can replicate.

For those wondering what I want for my birthday.. Hmm... Here's an updated materialistic-needs-list:

1. iPhone (done! :D:D:D I realise I have been wishing for this for don't-know how many years already.. Lol)

2. Books

a. Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol

b. The Secret

3. Mac laptop (think this one I can get next year instead with the 50% subsidy by MOE)

4. Man Utd apparels

5. Unconditional Offer into University of Cambridge (I guess only a select people from the university itself can grant me this)

I think there's nothing really materialistic left. On the other hand, here's another list:

1. To spend as much time as possible with my family and friends before I eventually do fly away

2. To gain some job experience before I leave, hopefully at CSS

3. To gain back all the fitness that I have lost as a result of army (how ironic!)

4. Start having weekly hockey or soccer sessions (somebody must organise please!!)

The journey's all done. Whether I miss it or not is relevant. What's important is the road ahead from here on. And that being said, I will have lots to do before I eventually go overseas (and that's if I eventually do go which in itself)

Perhaps the one greatest thing from henceforth is that I no longer have to sleep on a bed that's not mine. I think my bed is the one most personal thing of mine and it will be really great to have my very own every single night, instead of one that has been shared by don't-know-how-many-batches-of-soldiers. Urgh.

So yeah. I'm fine and dandy with this eventual ending of my Army life. Nice~!

I know I've always been complaining about how unbearable life in the army has been, but I guess it could have been much much worse. Perhaps there is some silver lining after all. And for me, it's the fellow Charlie specialists that I have to really be thankful for in going through this together. We've all grown so close together, admist all the troubles and scoldings and fuckings that we got to try to please those above and below us.

So often, we're the ones that made the huge sacrifices with the least complaints because everybody else is drowning us out with their very owns. The late nights before outfields. The sufferings of the many many duties that we have and yet we do not get the appreciation that we so behave. In retrospect, it's almost impossible to have done it, but I guess with the company of specialists that I have around, the pain becomes more bearable. Perhaps this is none other than a true testament to the idiom, "Sorrow shared is half sorrow. Joy shared is doubled joy."

Ah well. Last night's dinner was with my fellow Platoon 7 (minus a certain regular) and the HQ specs as well as a certain PC7. Had quite a feast at Adam Road Hawker Centre, but I guess the more fun part came when we just plain reminiscing about all the things that we have done over the past year or so. Maybe, just maybe, there was some takeaway from this entire thing after all. I won't miss it. That's for sure. Definitely won't miss the outfields and the trainings and the men. But what's more uncertain is whether this will apply to the bunch of specs that I'm with.

I will definitely miss Kelvin. (Haha.. I'm sure he will puke when he sees this). Currently, he's sleeping, like what he normally does in the afternoon. Miss his ah-beng-ness and his attempted sense of bochap-ness. The turning point came of our working relationship came when we started opening up to each other and him telling me about his younger days. Definitely a change from the normal working relationships that I have with others and that's when I guess "brother" really has a different meaning after all. (Here's where everybody goes "Aww... So sweet!")

Ok lahh.. Enough of all this. Got to start preparing for my parade already. Yup.. To everybody out there who is going to ORD... HAPPY ORD!! ORD LO!!! :D

The worst of it is over. I just have to endure these 2-3 days more. Endure not just the level of standard expected, but even worse, the people that surround my very presence. I must say, one thing I learnt from army is tolerance. Lots and lots of it. And the other is plain sheer ignorance. Nothing can beat that. And they all come hand in hand. Just wait till it all ends.

I don't even know what I'm rambling about. Urgh. I need some 'myself' time...